It's Complicated

It's Complicated

It’s Complicated: Family as a Means of Grace - Part 3
May 18, 2025
John 14:1-4, Romans 12:9-18

My Father’s house has room to spare. If that weren’t the case, would I have told you that I’m going to prepare a place for you?      

John 14:1-7

Love should be shown without pretending. Hate evil, and hold on to what is good.  Love each other like the members of your family. Be the best at showing honor to each other.

Romans 12:9-10

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In our Father’s house, there are many rooms — and together, we are learning how to live as one.

I grew up with a very different understanding of this passage. I was taught the King James Version, which says there are many “mansions.” I never thought to ask how multiple mansions could exist inside one house, but the image I held was highly individualistic and luxurious. Then I went to seminary and studied under Old Testament scholar and archaeologist Dr. Sandra Richter, who introduced us to the ancient 4-room pillared houses of ancient Israel known as the bet’ab — the “Father’s house.” This, it turns out, is the term Jesus uses when describing the place he is preparing.

The bet’ab was not a mansion, nor was it a space of private luxury. It included shared family living spaces, a combined reception room and kitchen, and small  sleeping areas often located on the upper level. In Israel’s patriarchal culture, the oldest living male was the head of the household, which included his sons, their wives, extended relatives, and sometimes servants. Much of the living and cooking took place outdoors, with rooms arranged around a central courtyard. Resources were shared, and everyone contributed to the needs of the household and wider community.

So what does this have to do with Jesus and his promise of heaven?

I’m glad you asked.

For Jesus, salvation is not some escapist dream of heavenly mansions and golden streets. It’s about a communal sense of belonging. In Christ, we are adopted into God's family, and we are given a place in the bet’ab — God’s household. 

But belonging to a household carries responsibilities. Children — biological or adopted — are expected to participate fully in the life of the family. Yes, they receive the blessings and love that come with being part of the family, knowing all their needs will be met. But they are also expected to contribute, to discover and use their gifts for the good of the entire household.

Family life, of course, is complicated. We don’t always get along, and sometimes those closest to us bear the brunt of our worst days. Siblings, in particular, can be highly competitive.

Life teaches us what it means to be part of a family — the human family, God’s family. As Paul writes to the Romans: “Love should be shown without pretending. Hate evil, and hold on to what is good. Love each other like the members of your family. Be the best at showing honor to each other.”

May this be our greatest competition in life: to outdo one another in showing honor and love. In a world that often rewards pride, power, or personal gain, what if we became known for something else entirely — a radical, joyful commitment to building each other up? That’s the kind of family Christ invites us to be.

Leveling Up on Love

Leveling Up On Love

November 10, 2024
Luke 6:27-38. Matthew 5:43-48

But I say to you who are willing to hear: Love your enemies. Do good to those who hate you. Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who mistreat you. If someone slaps you on the cheek, offer the other one as well. If someone takes your coat, don’t withhold your shirt either. Give to everyone who asks and don’t demand your things back from those who take them. Treat people in the same way that you want them to treat you.

If you love those who love you, why should you be commended? Even sinners love those who love them.

 Luke 6:27-32 (CEB)

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In Matthew’s telling of the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus says to “love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you” (Matthew 5:44).  Luke’s rendition shows us exactly what such love looks like in action.  Turn the other cheek, give freely without expecting anything in return, lend without expecting repayment, show compassion, don’t judge, forgive.” 

Two things I find particularly interesting here:

1. The editors of the Common English Translation title this section of Luke, “Behaving as God’s Children” in contrast to Matthew’s section header, “The Law of Love.”    It’s easy to talk about love in abstract terms, but Luke seems to realize how easy it is to separate what we call “love” from actual actions or behavior.  There are a lot of people who claim to love everyone while behaving in extremely unloving ways. 

2. It seems that Luke’s version of this command is used far more rarely than Matthew’s these days.  A lot of people want to call themselves “Christian” without being bogged down with the nuances of actually “behaving as God’s children.”  Many Christian groups are far more vocal in deciding who they think God’s enemies are and then declaring God’s wrath and judgment upon them.  Some even go to the extreme of seeing themselves as instruments of God’s judgment to condemn or punish the wicked.

In our world, “an eye for an eye” is much more popular than “turn the other cheek.”  Forgiveness and compassion are seen as weak.  And let’s not even talk about  the money issue, “lending without expecting to be paid back in full.”  Our economy thrives on exploiting people’s debt so they pay back far more than they ever borrowed, often over the course of a lifetime. 

Funny how the rules of our culture run so contrary to Jesus’ most basic teaching, and yet we see no conflict between calling oneself a Christian while behaving in greedy, hateful and judgmental ways toward others.  I wonder how many of the rules and laws we want to pass to keep our enemies (or political opponents) in line would be acceptable terms if similar laws were passed against us. 

Many Christians today have a persecution complex.  Despite having a lot more freedom than we realize and holding significant political power at every level, we tend to feel like everybody is out to get us… everybody is our enemy.  Even if that was true, which I do not believe, I wonder how our relationships with those “so-called” enemies might change if we behaved toward them the way Jesus taught and modeled for us. 

Maybe, just maybe, we would make a lot more friends.

Not Alone

Not Alone

September 29, 2024
John 13:34-35, 1 John 4:7-17

“I give you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, so you also must love each other.  This is how everyone will know that you are my disciples, when you love each other.”

 John 13:34-35

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A story is told of a pastor who trudged through the snow to a rustic log cabin where a parishioner lived.  It had been several months since this hermit of a man had stepped foot in the church, though church members often saw him around town.  The man welcomed the pastor in, offered him a hot cup of coffee and they sat down together in the warm glow of a crackling fire. 

Following their brief but cordial greeting, silence settled over the space.  Not an awkward silence, mind you, rather a holy silence, filled with the whispers of the Holy Spirit to both pastor and parishioner alike.  After a while the pastor reached out and, with a set of wrought iron tongs, he pulled a burning ember out of the fire and placed it carefully on the stone hearth.  The light from the tiny wood chip faded and smoke began to rise.  In no time, this little isolated fire had gone out.

The pastor then carefully placed the smoldering ember back into the fire and in an instant, it glowed brighter than before. 

As he stood up to leave, the parishioner finally broke the silence.  “Thanks for the sermon, preacher.  I’ll see you on Sunday.”

Just like the man hidden away in the warmth of his secluded cabin, there comes a point when our isolated embers will burn out.  We are indeed the church scattered as we live out our faith in our everyday, individual lives, and we must be the church gathered, remaining in the Holy Fire of God’s love  expressed through the love of one another in community. 

If God is love, then relationships are the necessary channel through which that love is expressed and known. As those who seek to follow Christ’s example, we cannot pick and choose who we will love based on preference, affection, similar interests, or agreement of opinions.  We must love as Christ loved us.  We must be vulnerable, serve one another, and open our hearts to the stranger. 

John O’Donohue invites us to bless the space that exists between us so that the walls of division may have no place to stand, and that love will bind all of creation together in the heart of God. 

As a popular benediction from the United Methodist Hymnal declares,

Go now in peace to serve God and your neighbor in all that you do. Bear witness to the love of God in this world, so that those to whom love is a stranger will find in you generous friends.

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Consider a time when you felt the most lonely or isolated, when you felt like a stranger.  How did you experience God in that season of your life?

What does “community” mean to you?  Where do you most experience authentic community in your life?  Where do you truly belong?

Do No Harm

Do No Harm
July 21, 2024
Galatians 5:13-15, Proverbs 3:28-29

You were called to freedom, brothers and sisters; only don’t let this freedom be an opportunity to indulge your selfish impulses, but serve each other through love.  All the Law has been fulfilled in a single statement: Love your neighbor as yourself. But if you bite and devour each other, be careful that you don’t get eaten up by each other!

Galatians 5:13-15 (CEB)

Don’t plan to harm your neighbor who trusts and lives near you.

Proverbs 3:29 (CEB)

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John Wesley, in his instructions to all those desirous of salvation, explained that the evidence of their
sincerity was "First, by doing no harm, by avoiding evil of every kind, especially that which is most
generally practiced ..." (Book of Discipline 2000, ¶103, p. 73). Even before listing good things to do, Wesley began by listing harmful things to avoid doing. There is a powerful lesson for Christian leaders in this instruction — as valuable as good works may be, it is even more valuable to avoid those things that might harm others or destroy the foundation of trust of the congregation. 

~ excerpt from UMC Discipleship

In theory, the idea of doing no harm seems simple. 

Perhaps that’s why Bishop Reuben Job calls it the first of “Three Simple Rules.”  It’s simple because in general, we do not seek to do harm to others.  We don’t usually try to hurt people.  At the same time, we know the reality that it is often the people who are closest to us that we hurt the most, often without even realizing it. 

Consider a few of the ways we commonly do harm to others without necessarily intending it:

1. Gossip - We all have opinions and easily find fault with other people, but it is far to easy to talk “about” those people rather than talking “to” them or “with” them. 

2. Unfair Criticism - It is so easy to criticize someone for not living up to our expectations, but in truth, we have no idea what is going on  in their lives.  Scripture calls us to turn our criticism into encouragement to build one another up in the Lord.

3. Rumors - similar to gossip, rumors or mis-information is widespread in our culture.  Even fact checkers have been challenged as false when they don’t line up with “what we have heard” or “what we already think.”  As Christians, we must be far more discerning about the information we spread, especially when it is about someone else.

4. Respectful discourse even in disagreement - As much as we may want to avoid conflict, often brushing our disagreements under the rug and not dealing with them can do even more harm.  We must learn to respect one another’s opinions while also challenging those places where those opinions, including our own, may cause harm to others. 

5. Apathy - One of the easiest and most common ways we do harm to others is simply by not doing anything at all.  When we refuse to speak up on behalf of a person or group who is experiencing harm, we are part of the problem. 

What other ways do you see harm in our world, or even in your own life? 

How will you work intentionally to “do no harm” this week?

Grow in Love

Grow in Love
Grow: Rethinking Church Growth - Part 5
May 12, 2024
Matthew 22:36-40, 28:18-20

“Teacher, what is the greatest commandment in the Law?”  He replied, “You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your being, and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment.  And the second is like it: You must love your neighbor as you love yourself.  All the Law and the Prophets depend on these two commands

Matthew 22:36-40, CEB

Jesus came near and spoke to them, “I’ve received all authority in heaven and on earth.  Therefore, go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit,  teaching them to obey everything that I’ve commanded you. Look, I myself will be with you every day until the end of this present age.”

Matthew 28:18-20, CEB

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Last summer at our Annual Conference, Rev. Dr. Martyn Atkins of Great Britain shared the centrality of the two texts above as essential to our Christian faith.  These passages are known as the Great Commandment and the Great Commission.

Dr. Atkins points out that these two cannot be separated and together they provide the most clear indicator of our spiritual health.  The Great Commandment is the tone by which we undertake the Great Commission and the Great Commission is the means by which we fulfill the Great Commandment.  In other words, we can’t love God and neighbor if we do not bear witness to Christ’s love for them and we cannot bear witness or make disciples unless our efforts and intent are fueled not by our own interests, but by our love of God and neighbor alone.  Evangelism must always be personal, relational, and incarnational, just as Christ modeled for us when he came to dwell among us to show us the depth of God’s love. 

Our intent, Dr. Atkins says, must always be to offer Christ’s love authentically, consistently, and in the same manner as Christ offers himself to us and to others.  “The last thing the world needs,” he proclaims, “is more salespeople of an institution called “church,” but what it does need is many, many more free samples of Jesus Christ.”

Generally speaking, Atkins points out, we like the Great Commandment, “except when we don’t.”  We like the idea of being good, loving people, until we get caught up in our religious and culture wars that tell us who are and are not included among our neighbors.  The problem with both the Great Commandment and the Great Commission is that neither “give us any ammunition to keep anybody out of who Jesus is talking about.”  Atkins continues, “Every generation of Christians has trouble with such scriptures because they give us no help whatsoever in our endless search to find people to exclude from it.”

As we seek to grow in Christian maturity, to grow our roots deeper into Christ, and to grow wider in the scope of our ministry and service to others, we are ultimately growing in love.  Love is not a program for numerical growth, but it creates fertile soil for the Holy Spirit to do what only she can do. 

Love God.  Love Neighbor.  Make Disciples. 

This alone is our task.  

You can view Dr. Atkin's’ full presentation below:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sieT_LJ9yno

God Can't...

God Can’t Prevent Evil Singlehandedly

Where is God when… ? - Part 2

Sunday, November 12, 2023
1 John 4:7-16, John 4:24, 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a

God is love, and those who remain in love remain in God and God remains in them.

- 1 John 4:16 (CEB)

God is Spirit, and it is necessary to worship God in spirit and in truth.

- John 4:24 (CEB)

 Love doesn’t force itself on others.

 - 1 Corinthians 13:5a (The Message)

Listen to this Week’s Sermon here:

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In his book, God Can’t: How to believe in God and Love after Tragedy, Abuse & Other Evils, Tom Oord tells the story of his friend Jayne, who endured sexual abuse at an early age, followed by years of trauma and destructive patterns that nearly led to her taking her own life.  Jayne describes her long and painful process toward healing, which began, she says, on “the day I realized I had choices.” 

“God did not control me on the cliff;” she writes.  “I chose to turn and live.  But so did all those who hurt me.  We all had free will.  And I don’t need to say nonsensical things such as, ‘God allowed my abuse to build my character.’”

Far too many people suffer deep emotional, mental, and spiritual scars from the idea that God’s predetermined plan included their abuse or other traumatic event in their lives for some greater mysterious purpose.  In recognizing her own free will and the free will of her abusers, Jayne came to see God not as an all-powerful overseer who watched the evil happen to her, but as a loving God who is never coercive or manipulative and who by nature, cannot take away someone’s freedom even if they use their freedom for evil. 

“The God who controls could not be my anchor,” she says, “but the God who loves me, comforts me, brings me support by prompting the good actions of others, and guides my choices most certainly can.”

It is difficult to imagine that there are things beyond God’s control, but Jayne realized that a truly loving God who has the power to prevent evil and harm but chooses not to is not very loving at all, at least not in any sense of the word “love” we could comprehend. 

Michael Fortier, who served prison time after the 1995 Oklahoma City bombing, was not directly involved in the attack, but he was convicted because he knew of the plans ahead of time and did not alert the authorities.  In other words, even our imperfect human justice system acknowledges that all people have a responsibility to prevent evil and harm to whatever degree they are able.  If we say God is in absolute control of everything and has the ability to prevent evil but chooses not to, surely God would be just as culpable if not more so than any human who fails to do what they can to prevent such a horrendous tragedy. 

This does not make God weak or powerless, and we will see in the coming weeks how God uses the persuasive power of love to work in cooperation with humanity to squeeze the most possible good out of every situation.  God moves people to act with compassion and boldness to help prevent evil, but the power of Love cannot be coercive or forced.  Jesus shows us a God who is fully present in our suffering, not a God who sits by and allows otherwise preventable evil to go unchecked. 

God is Love and Love never fails.

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For a more in depth reflection on the questions around God’s goodness and love in the midst of suffering and evil, check out God Can’t: How to believe in God and Love after Tragedy, Abuse & Other Evils.

Might

I arise today...
Through God’s might to uphold me...

The Lorica of Saint Patrick (St. Patrick's Breastplate Prayer)

Surely God is my help;
the Lord is the one who sustains me.

- Psalm 54:4

I’ll be honest, this image of God is more challenging for me than it probably should be.

Human history has been plagued with the idea that “might makes right” and those in power are often the ones who will do almost anything to get there, no matter who they hurt or walk over in the process. As Lord Acton writes, “Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely.”

I remember children’s songs in church like “What a mighty God we serve,” or “My God is so big, so strong and so mighty, there’s nothing my God cannot do.” On one hand the idea that God is mightier and more powerful than any enemy we may face can be comforting, that is, so long as God is on our side. On the other hand, it is hard to imagine absolute power that does not corrupt. Such power and might, unchecked, is indeed a frightening thought.

In Revelation 15:4, the saints of God sing out the song of Moses saying,

Who won’t fear you, Lord, and glorify your name? You alone are holy. All nations will come and fall down in worship before you,for your acts of justice have been revealed.”

Who would not fear the Lord, indeed. “The Lord, strong and mighty. The Lord mighty in battle” (Psalm 24:8). The King of Glory is King of Kings and Lord of Lords and no power or nation shall stand against him.

Such imagery, though absolutely true, gives me pause. History has shown us time and time again that absolute power cannot go unchecked. It is dangerous. And yet we know God has no equal. Nothing can stand against the Lord.

But we also find comfort throughout the scripture that God’s might is perfectly balanced by God’s love. We find the story in Genesis 18:16-33 where Abraham pleads with God on behalf of the people and God promises to relent for the sake of even 10 righteous people in city. Regardless of the final outcome, God demonstrates to Abraham that he is not some cosmic heartless monster out to destroy the world as so many other gods throughout history have been portrayed.

The difference between the all-powerful God of Scripture and so many other gods throughout ancient mythology is that the God of Scripture is Love. By his very nature, God cannot exercise power and might in any way that does not reflect his loving character.

Nearly every encounter a person has with God in Scripture pans out the same way. Consider the stories of Isaiah, Peter, Paul, and John in Revelation, among others. The person is overwhelmed by God’s holiness, often falling down on their face as though dead. God’s first words in such terrifying moments almost always include the statement, “Do not fear.”

In Isaiah 41, we find God’s encouragement to Israel.

“You are my servant;
I chose you and didn’t reject you”:
Don’t fear, because I am with you;
don’t be afraid, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you,
I will surely help you;
I will hold you
with my righteous strong hand.

- Isaiah 41:9b-10

God’s might, rather than striking terror into our hearts, should fill us with hope and courage because God promises to uphold us in his righteous strong hand. Because of God’s might, we truly have nothing to fear.

Yet we must be careful, for unlike God, our sense of power often does lead to corruption. Centuries of ugly and violent religious history have shown us how easily we humans distort the power and might of God into a threat against our enemies, justifying countless wars in God’s name and condemning all who disagree with us to the fires of hell. We must remember Jesus’ call to love our enemies, and that God desires no one to perish but for all to come to repentance (Matthew 5:43-48, John 3:16). We must not try to manipulate God’s might for our own purposes. Our enemies are not God’s enemies, for even they are beloved and bear the image of God, their Creator.

God’s might will uphold us, but God’s love must prevent us from using his might to tear others down. Perhaps the mightiest act God ever demonstrated was the restraint he showed on the cross when he refused to send down his angel armies to destroy those who crucified his son. Might is not the power to tear down or lord over others. The greatest might of all is the power to sacrifice everything for the sake of love.

Reflections:

1. What is your gut reaction to the thought of a “Mighty God”?

2. In what ways have you experienced God’s might upholding you throughout your life?

3. How do you see God’s power at work in sacrificial acts of love? How might God be calling you to use His power in that way?

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Our journey through St. Patrick's Breastplate Prayer continues next week:

... I arise today,
Through God’s wisdom to guide me…

Pray along with the full text of St. Patrick's Breastplate Prayer