The Rooster Crows
Experiencing Resurrection: Part 2
April 19, 2026
Jesus asked a third time, "Simon son of John, do you love me?" Peter was sad that Jesus asked him a third time, "Do you love me?" He replied, "Lord, you know everything; you know I love you." Jesus said to him, "Feed my sheep."
~ John 21:17
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As the others began cleaning up after the meal, Jesus turned to me. He looked me dead in the eye, called me by name, and asked “Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?”
I froze.
I knew he had no reason to believe that I loved him after what I had done.
With tears welling in my eyes, I told him, “Yes Lord, you know that I love you.”
I couldn’t have been more sincere, but in my heart, I didn’t really expect him to believe me.
“Feed my lambs.”
His response was not what I expected.
It was just like the day he first called me. He wanted me to take care of his people. Why me? How could he trust me with such an enormous task?
Then he asked again, “Simon, son of John, do you love me?”
I knew it. He didn’t really trust me. I responded more urgently this time, and I couldn’t hold back the tears. “Yes, Lord, you know I love you.” And again, he said, “Tend my sheep.”
We just stared at each other for a moment. Even through the blurriness of my tears I could see the gentleness in his eyes.
He asked a third time, “Simon, son of John, do you love me?”
This was harder than anything I could have imagined. My mind kept reliving those moments in the courtyard the day he died. “You were with Jesus,” someone said pointing at me. “No, no I wasn’t. You must be mistaken.” Three different people. Three times I said I didn’t know him. And now for a third time, Jesus questioned me. How could I convince him that I loved him when I had denied even knowing him? How could I ever expect him to trust me again?
I wasn’t even sure I believed it myself anymore. Did I really love him?
I just sat there sobbing, knowing my words couldn’t possibly have any meaning to him, but I responded anyway. My voice cracked with desperation.
“Lord, you know everything, you know I love you.”
This time my answer felt more like a question.
Lord, you know me better than I know myself… you tell me, do I love you? I think I do… I want to love you more than anything… but I failed you, I doubted you, I turned my back on you? You knew I would deny you. Will I do it again? I can’t stand the thought of letting you down again.
He had to know that I was doubting myself more than I had ever doubted him.
He answered gently, “Feed my sheep.”
Then he told me to follow him.
Jesus still wanted me by his side. I don’t think I’ll ever understand it. There are many days I don’t feel forgiven, but that’s exactly what he did. Jesus forgave me.
This week’s reflection is an excerpt from my new book, Real Life Resurrection.
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